You can't spell America without me : the really tremendous inside story of my fantastic first year as President Donald J. Trump (a so-called parody) / by Alec Baldwin & Kurt Andersen.

You actually can't spell America without "me" -- I had to do it my way -- This is American history -- I won, I'm a winner, I'm the winner -- With great wealth comes great quality -- The actual legal takeover of the government -- I need a tv in the oval -- It finally felt real, like a movie -- I'm the President -- I feel like a new man -- I like tough -- It was about to get even better -- The so-called Russia stories -- If I acted 'presidential' all the time, I'd start losing my special powers -- The American people understand -- A good test for Comey -- They said it on the news -- The bad polls are probably mostly or completely fake -- Everybody lied to me -- Ivanka has such a gorgeous smile -- The presidency really is like a tv series -- I never panic -- I had to "kill" him; kill in quotation marks -- The "special counsel" is totally rigged -- Everyone nervous except me -- Is Jared a Fredo? -- We're both strong and know the score -- Call him Flipper -- It's a crazy world -- So many, many secrets to keep -- Route 66 -- Maga -- My Nobel Prize -- Shlimazel -- Ang buhlay ay maganda -- Was that all a dream? -- All fake -- Hooray President Trump, hooray Presidente Trump, hooray President Trump in Russian with the crazy backward 3 -- The end.

"Political satire as deeper truth: Donald Trump's presidential memoir, as recorded by two world-renowned Trump scholars, and experts on greatness generally "I have the best words, beautiful words, as everybody has been talking and talking about for a long time. Also? The best sentences and, what do you call them, paragraphs. My previous books were great and sold extremely, unbelievably well--even the ones by dishonest, disgusting so-called journalists. But those writers didn't understand Trump, because quite frankly they were major losers. People say if you want it done right you have to do it yourself, even when 'it' is a 'memoir.' So every word of this book was written by me, using a special advanced word processing system during the many, many nights I've been forced to stay alone in the White House--only me, just me, trust me, nobody helped. And it's all 100% true, so true--people are already saying it may be the truest book ever published. Enjoy." Until Donald Trump publishes his account of his entire four or eight or one-and-a-half years in the White House, the definitive chronicle will be You Can't Spell America Without Me: The Really Tremendous Inside Story of My Fantastic First Year As President" -- Provided by publisher.